Things They Don't Tell You About the Early Post-Partum Period

Everyone talks about the sleep deprivation -- and seemingly only about the sleep deprivation (and maybe the baby blues).  I know it's only been eight days, but here are some of the things that I'm surprised no one told me about the early post-partum period.

1.  The pain. Oh, the paaaaaaain.  I have been hurting in so many parts of my body, I forget about some because they are overtaken by the others.  Where to begin?  The worst offender is the episiotomy site, which constantly hurts and makes sitting, rising, standing, walking, and everything except sleeping really difficult.  It's still bleeding, and it HURTS.  Then there's the breastfeeding equipment...au naturale, and constantly sore -- especially in the early days when I had blisters and blood coming out of them. :(  Then there is the epidural site in my back, the three-inch long heplock bruise, and the tetanus shot in my left arm.  Oh, and my tailbone is really sore, apparently from all the pushing.  How come no one talks about the pain in the early post-partum days? I wasn't expecting to be hobbling around gingerly and cringing constantly in these early days.  Post-partum should come with a pain warning label.

2.  The sleep deprivation isn't that bad.  Especially with a good partnership going on... splitting the tasks of feeding and caring for a fussy baby enable both parents to get okay amounts of sleep throughout the day.  I'm clocking in at 4.5-5.5 hours a day, and Mr. Squire gets 5-7 I think.  Of course...we are lucky, given our work arrangements, so I am very thankful for that.

3.  The beauty of seeing God's design in the human body unfold day after day.  In these early post-partum days, especially if you are breastfeeding, you get to witness the amazing wonder that is God's design in the human body and development of milk supply to feed a new child (i.e. colostrum and drop in weight, development of hunger in the nursing child to create extra demand as milk comes in, the incredible benefits of breastmilk and ability to rely on it exclusively, the demand/supply cycle, etc).  It is quite incredible how God equipped an intricate system to provide the baby exactly what she needs at each stage of the newborn phase.

4.  The sense of accomplishment that accompanies each new lesson learned.  It's been a steep learning curve these last eight days -- complete with changing more than 40 diapers, doing more than 50 feedings, and learning how to hold, comfort, calm, and understand this little creature.  But we are getting better at it, day by day. And every time I successfully put her down to sleep at night, I feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment.  Wasn't expecting that.

5.  The joy!  This came as a special surprise to me, given my reservations about my maternal instincts. There are some times when I hold our baby girl and I feel that I love her so much it hurts.  What the--??  It is a privilege to be her parent.  I love her and am excited to raise her with Mr. Squire (who is an amazing dad already).  Junior, you bring us joy -- even when you are screaming your head off (like right now).  We are so thankful for you.

Your Journey Here

Hi Junior,

Right now you're asleep in the bassinet in our room, snoozing away until your next feeding at 10pm.  You're sleep-inverted, which means our nights are your days--and Daddy doesn't get a whole lot of sleep at night.  You are almost an entire week old now.

One day you may wonder about the events leading to your arrival in this world.  We waited more than a week past your due date to meet you, and grew increasingly worried that we would have to induce you.  Lots of people recommended that I go on long walks, but the problem is that throughout my pregnancy--all the way to week 41--I walked at least 3 miles per day, every day.  So additional long walks weren't going to do a whole lot.  We tried accupressure, and I tend to think that my hour at the Chinese massage place is probably what provoked your ultimate journey out of the womb.

I started feeling contractions during the early morning hours on Monday, but ignored them in favor of falling back asleep, knowing that I would need as much sleep as possible if they were real contractions.  Finally, around 9am, I couldn't ignore the contractions anymore.  I started timing them as I hit the gym one last time.  It's at the gym that I realized that this was the real deal -- when the contractions hit, I couldn't focus on anything, much less staying on the treadmill.  I crawled my way through a pitiful 2-mile workout, and headed back home.  

There was not much to do except pass the time (and do lots of Google research as different things were happening), so Mr. Squire and I hit the grocery store and bought ingredients for potato and leek soup so we could try out our new immersion blender. As I hobbled through the grocery store during contractions, it occurred to me that maybe trying a new recipe was kind of an ambitious project for early labor.  

But we did it anyway (and the soup was very good). We spent the afternoon distracting ourselves with Friday Night Lights, but come early evening I couldn't focus on much of anything anymore.  We went out for a walk by the river, but I ended up keeling over or hanging desperately onto Mr. Squire every 4 or 5 minutes. Undoubtedly, the passersby had questions.  But by then I was already in "I don't care" mode.

I continued to labor at home until 1am on Tuesday, at which time we finally headed to the hospital because I just couldn't stand the pain anymore and my contractions were finally 3-4 minutes apart.  I closed my eyes when I gingerly clambered into the cab, and did not open my eyes again for another 3 hours.  

During those three hours, the cab driver sped us through the Lincoln Tunnel at 50 mph, we made it through triage (although the triage lady totally rammed my birthing ball into me WHILE I was experiencing a contraction, which made me burst into tears for the first time), I found out that I had dilated to 7cm, and decided to get an epidural upon learning that I had another several hours to go.  By then, I had labored for at least 19 hours, and I knew that if I didn't get pain management, I wouldn't have anything left to push at the end.  The epidural was its own nightmare -- I was shivering madly because of the labor, and I continued to experience 60-90 second contractions every 3 minutes, and they had to do the epidural twice because there were problems with the first administration.  

Finally, at 4am, when the epidural kicked in, I opened my eyes for the first time since leaving home.  The sudden absence of contractions was such a relief, and I actually cracked a couple jokes with the nurses who were in the room (whose voices I had heard but whose faces I had not yet seen).  I was still shivering like crazy, though, so Mr. Squire climbed into bed with me and we slept on and off for a couple hours.

Around 9am, it was finally time to push.  This was the part that surprised me the most -- how uneventful the pushing phase is compared to what I've seen on television.  Within 40 minutes, you were here.  And...life hasn't been the same ever since.  We're so delighted with you!

Love,

Mommy

Unexpected Gifts

Dear Junior,

So... turns out that doctor was wrong... you didn't come this weekend!  I am thankful that you weren't a Halloween baby, and I'm thankful that you weren't born on marathon Sunday, because traffic would have been tough.  And now you are more than one day late.  I think you should aim to come out either on your daddy's birthday or before.  Any later, and I might start handing out eviction notices because sleeping is getting to be a real chore.  :)

Over the last few days, your grandma has been in town to visit.  She'd been hoping to meet you, but she leaves tomorrow and you still have not made any indications that you're coming out.  Secretly, I think we are all thankful:  by staying put, you have given us extra time together with my mom--and I actually think that was more important than her meeting you at this time.  God knows best, and I think your inertia has given us some very good, unexpected gifts.

In the last few days, we've been able to show your grandma what our life is like here in New York/New Jersey... the amazing church community and family you're being born into, and all the loving aunties and uncles who are excited for your imminent arrival... the bright, airy, and comforting home that your parents have been blessed with (and that they've gotten to get ready in the post-bedbug era)... the conveniences of Hmart, Costco, and A&P across the street (not to mention the joys of Mitsuwa just four miles down)... and she also got to experience our rich and beautiful life in Brooklyn yesterday with our all-day tour, including dim sum in Brooklyn Chinatown, Bien Cuit, the butcher shop, Sahadi's, the Korean grocery store, a visit with my judge, Jack the Horse, and wonderful visits with our old neighbors -- Wes and Diane, and Calvin, Lisette, Elijah and Zuri.

She leaves tomorrow.  Who knows when you will come out. But thanks for staying put for a bit -- this has been good for all of us.  You'll meet your grandma soon enough; we all needed this.