Pecans and Shards of Glass

They say that marriage is (supposed to be) a microcosm of the relationship the Church shares with Christ.  In general, I feel that that is true.  Today, I felt it was particularly true.

Besides the fact that general life functions (sleeping, walking, getting dressed, breathing, eating, going to the bathroom) are more difficult now in the late third trimester, I am also very, very clumsy.  I find it funny that a hormone called relaxin is partially responsible for all my bumps, bruises, and butterfingers.  But this morning, I was not laughing about the fact that I shattered a mason jar of pecans while trying to screw the lid back on.  I still have no idea how that happened.

But one second, I was shaking toasted pecans onto my greek yogurt and frozen blueberries (my new breakfast owing to the low-carb diet I've been placed on), and the next, I had glass shards and pecans strewn across our counter, the stove, and the kitchen floor.  Mr. Squire spotted some glass in my yogurt, so I had to discard it.  And then I started to clean up, but Mr. Squire shooed me out of the kitchen and cleaned up everything himself.  Partly because he didn't want me to get hurt... partly because it's just who he is.  He cleans up my messes.  (See, e.g., the time I spilled an entire smoothie in the refrigerator in our Brooklyn apartment.)  Without complaint, and without reprisal.

I felt bad.  I always feel bad when he cleans up my messes.  I especially feel bad when I create messes involving glass that could injure him in the cleanup process.  

At the same time, I felt blessed.  I always feel grace most strongly when he does things like this--when instead of expressing frustration at my clumsiness and the interruption to his own breakfast routine, he just picks up the pieces and cleans everything up to where you can't even tell anything happened in the first place.

As he was cleaning up my mess, I skulked over to my exercise ball with a KIND bar and a cup of milk to read my Bible passage for the day.  John 19.  About Christ's crucifixion.  How appropriate.  On the cross, Jesus cleaned up endless spilled pecans and glass shards in the sins of my life.  He is still cleaning them up... without complaint, and without reprisal -- just love.  I feel bad, because I've created so many messes.  And will create a bunch more in my lifetime.  And He will be cleaning all of them up, to where you can't even tell anything happened in the first place.  I get to live in a state of forgiveness because He did that.  

At the same time, I feel blessed.  Grace is a blessing.  The receipt of gifts that are unmerited put a special ring of love around your heart and soul...makes you want to share with others.