Dear Junior

Dear Junior,

Mommy can't sleep right now, so I thought I would write you a little letter.  It is 2:30 in the morning, so the thoughts are in no particular order.

I am thankful for each of your little smiles, which have been much more numerous these past few days.  Did Mommy suddenly become funnier?  Or did God just know Mommy needed some encouragement?  In any event, from your sweet shy smiles to your unabashed grins (in which your tongue peeks out from between your lips -- so cute!), your smiles light up the world.  When you smile, I pretty much don't need anything else.

Tomato Head.  The last couple days, you have also become Tomato Head a couple times.  That is, you cried so hard that you turned all red in the face.  Your eyes scrunch up, your nose wrinkles, and your mouth forms that huge upside-down kidney-bean shape. Much like the cartoons, actually.  And little one, you are LOUD.  I think it's the growth spurt that made you so fussy, because you're not usually like that.  You usually calm down well before the Tomato Head stage.  But it's okay.  We love you all the same.  And in a very odd way, your Tomato Head look is strangely cute.  I can't explain it, but even when you're in that state, Mommy and Daddy still think you're the cutest thing ever.

Mommy and Daddy are reading up on discipline.  I've been enjoying these first several months, when you can do no wrong and I don't have to worry about things like defiance or disobedience.  These days will come to an end before we know it, though, and then the *really* hard work of parenting will begin.  God help us!  And indeed, we are seeking Him, for only He can help us shepherd your heart toward Him.

Mommy goes back to work in three weeks.  You, Mommy, and Daddy have had 12 weeks together so far.  We have been so lucky to be at home, full-time, together as a family.  You won't consciously remember this time, but hopefully somewhere--deep down in your soul--you will have a foundation of deep security and peace cultivated during these first weeks of your life.  Your first weeks of life were filled with an abundance of love, attention, and care from both of your parents.  I wish all kids were so lucky.  God blessed you, little one.  Go forth and bless others.

Speaking of Daddy, he is so much fun! You bring out even more of the best in him -- his fun, his humor, his patience, his devotion.  I often think that perhaps my greatest gift to you is your dad.

I actually have been sharing my stuffies with you during our times together in the "Magical Room" (i.e. Mommy and Daddy's bedroom, which is currently acting as a spare since we sleep in your room).  Anyone who knows me knows how amazing this is.  Guess I really do love you THAT much.  :)

This morning, we pulled you into the big bed in your room to sleep between Mommy and Daddy. Usually Daddy watches you, but he had a bad night of sleep last night (much as I am having now -- it is 2:45 AM and I still can't fall asleep), so I watched you.  You were still in your ducky bag, and you faced me and we held hands for a while as you slept.  Then you kept moving around... inching ever closer and closer toward me until your entire face was pressed up against my arm. And we slept like that for a good hour.  It was so snuggly and nice.  I wish I could have bottled up that hour and saved it forever.  I love you, sweet Bathands. 

That's all for tonight...you'll be up in about an hour to nurse, so Mommy should maybe try to get at least some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.  But we'll be good, because we'll be doing it together.  Sometimes Mommy still can't believe that she gets to keep you.  You, Daddy, and me are family forever, little one.  How could God be so good to me??

Love,

Mommy