Reflections

Well, I'm certainly uncomfortable, Lord,

Squirming under Your watchful eye--

Your loving, concerned, parental eye--

but I swear I saw a flash of judgment.

(Or was that just what I saw in the mirror?)

I'm learning 

in yet another way

that You give and You take away

I've seen You give

and take away

young, young lives:

husband, son, brother (Christian, 34)

sister (Sonia, 22)

friend (Adam, 32)

and others, loved by friends,

given to the world

then lost to war, cancer, freak accidents

in each case, we mourn

cry

grieve

fall to our knees

wonder 

what might have been?

what they might have otherwise done?

had You not seen fit to take them away

sooner than we thought

earlier than we expected

I'm learning 

in yet another way

that You give and You take away

Now I have seen You give

and now I have seen you take away

dreams:

in the shadow of hand-to-hands

red ribbons on every door except...the ominous few

where eleven-year-olds already know

...not to "pick up the soap"

...whose daddy was stabbed to death

...why it's important not to seek revenge

...what the real hard life is like...

I always thought there existed a better tomorrow

somewhere in the future.

And we could reach it, and all the hard days sown

would meet their rich harvest.

Kids, now grown,

living hope.

Except not. 

So now I find...

I mourn

cry

grieve

fall to my knees

wonder 

what might have been?

what might we have otherwise done?

had You not seen fit to take us away

sooner than we thought

earlier than we expected

"You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Lord, blessed be Your name..."

May it truly be so.