Day 30: Looking Back

In working on something to help secure unemployment for our nanny, I came across something I wrote last summer.

Wow.

What a difference a year makes.  Junior arrived.  We survived, and have since thrived, in our family's expanded state.  And Change in Plans #3 came sure as the morning sun -- preceded again by Chris's visit to the States.  We prayed and he had a vision to share about Junior, but none for me.  But still, shortly thereafter, the pieces came together and ... now our boxes are almost fully packed.  A new adventure awaits.  

But whichever form it takes, I believe, now more than ever, it will be orchestrated by God deep compassion, love, wisdom, and generosity.

That's what I wrote last year...and it's a good reminder as I struggle with the unknowns that lie ahead.  New colleagues. New neighbors.  Finding a church community where God wants us to serve and grow.  Keeping old friends.  Expanding my heart to accommodate new friends, which isn't always easy for me as I hang onto old ones.  An entirely new line of work.  Putting Junior in daycare (which I think will be great for her at this age, but still a big change).  Hot weather.  No autumn.  No snow.  No cold weather.  

God will orchestrate all of these changes with deep compassion, love, wisdom, and generosity--as He always has before.  What a reminder.

* * *

Today was all about business--and getting Junior to nap.  We spent a lot of time packing, packing, packing...donating old stuff, tossing other stuff, packing, packing, and packing.  As our apartment looks less and less like home, Junior becomes more and more clingy to Mommy.  I love seeing her crawl eagerly toward me, arms splayed wide for Mommy, the snuggles and contentedness in Mommy's safe and loving arms.  But (a) I feel sorry for Daddy, and (b) I feel for my baby girl who is about to go through a huge shift in her life.  Granted, she's so young yet, so it won't make a huge difference to her in the long run. But in the short run--and on a level that she can't comprehend--it's going to make a big difference.  Mostly because all her loving aunties and uncles will suddenly disappear.  :(   But God will deal compassionately, lovingly, wisely, and generously toward her...

We've spent 30 days together, her and I.  This evening, the three of us went to the playground after sunset, and it was pitch black outside.  At first, just Junior and I were there together, and she refused to climb the green mountain.  I thought it was because she was too tired and scared of the dark. But when Daddy showed up and climbed to the top, she happily climbed toward him, and we had a great time clambering up with her, then guiding her up and down the slide.  She learned quickly how to use her bare feet to grip the slide and climb back up.  Clever girl.  She's so much fun to watch.  I don't love fruitless attempts to put her down for naps, but I love pretty much everything else. She's a treasure.

Four more days here. The apartment is looking barer and barer.  Another chapter awaits.  As the nervous butterflies accumulate in my stomach, I am thankful for a God who is compassionate, loving, wise, and generous.