One more week left until I start work! And some big things are starting to come together more in a tangible way.
Daycare. We brought Junior to the daycare that she'll be joining in a few weeks (she'll spend the first couple at home with Daddy until our health insurance kicks in), and she LOVED it. Got right into the thick of it and started exploring and wandering away--far, far away from Mommy--immediately. Definitely a good sign. I wasn't altogether surprised, because she's very curious and pretty independent, and she LOVES other kids. But it was, of course, encouraging to witness firsthand her ability to take off and do her own thing. I know it's not quite the same, because I was still around. But she's going to be just fine, and I'm really happy about that. It's a wonderful program and I couldn't have asked for anything better for her.
Halloween. We've attended two Halloween-ish events in our area already. One was a kids' fest, and one was a trunk-or-treat hosted by a local church. Both were fun. Junior didn't go in costume because both were outdoors and it is Palmtreeville (aka Furnaceville), after all. We're waiting for the costume day at the library this week...then she hopefully will cooperate with Mommy's attempts to put her in the adorable lobster costume I picked up at a local consignment store for less than $3.50. :) It's great to know that there are so many awesome kid-centered and community activities around here.
Church! As I've written about before, Sundays have been tough here as we've been looking for churches. Every Sunday, I would come home and either feel like crying, or just outright cry. I knew all of this would take time, but going through it is still hard -- especially since the churches we were visiting just didn't feel like the right fit for one reason or another. We continue to pray for God's leading and direction.
THANKFULLY (!), the church we visited today shows promise for being our long-term church. It is close to our home (which was important to us - living near our fellow church congregants), the sermon was excellent in terms of style and content (very challenging, and happened to mirror the passages in Deuteronomy and Joshua that I've been studying for the last few weeks on my own!), people were really welcoming (something that hadn't been true at some of the other churches), we met a couple InterVarsity staff who attend there (IV folks are always a good sign - and we had some good GJ fandom going on together), the size was about the same as our City church (so not a huge megachurch), it was okay-diverse in terms of age range and we saw at least a few minorities besides ourselves, they have lots of community groups and an emphasis on journeying together in smaller groups (we will attend one tomorrow night), they have some great involvement in terms of community outreach, and it reminded me a lot of the church I attended (and loved) in college. Pretty good combination. :)
A Conversation with Junior. One of the things discussed during today's sermon was the fact that pleasing God requires (a) believing in Him and (b) believing that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him. And God says we must lay down our crosses and follow Him for the sake of His kingdom--regardless of the cost. As the preacher (who was teaching out of I Corinthians 10) discussed various temptations that the passage warns against, one that stuck out to me was the temptation of leading an easy, comfortable, familiar, and utterly unproductive life. Taking the talents and gifts God gave me and just...enjoying it, and not multiplying it for His kingdom.
This stuck out to me, in part, because we happen to live in a really nice neighborhood. And Junior will be going to a really nice daycare. And probably will go to a really nice school as she grows up. And while I miss my City family terribly much, I will be the first to admit that friendships aside, life is significantly easier here. From the traffic to the noise to the in-unit laundry to the niceties of living where we live,...life is just easier here. I can see why people come here to retire. :-p
I was reminded, through the sermon, and I'm sure also through the Holy Spirit's nudging, that everything I described in the previous paragraph is NOT the reason why we were sent here. I believe they are fringe benefits that God has given to us as an act of mercy and generosity and compassion, because He knew how difficult the transition would be. So He has granted our prayer for a soft landing here in Palmtreeville. But there's more to my life than this. So much more.
And who knows what costs God may call me to cough up along the way. But of immediate concern I know of at least one major one: significantly less time with Junior. How I have treasured and savored these two months at home with her! I delight in watching her eat. I delight in watching her play. I delight in snuggling with her (as I've mentioned a gazillion times). I delight in nursing her. I delight in making her smile and laugh. I delight in hearing her speak. I delight in reading to her. I simply delight in her so very much. ...and now we're scaling back a ton again.
In light of the sermon, and in light of my desire to prepare my daughter for what lies ahead--and my desire to model the things I'm learning from God as they happen--I had the following conversation with her before she went to sleep this evening:
Hi Batty. I just want you to know... as I've been telling you, Mommy is going back to work soon. In just a week, Mommy is going to start her new job. We won't be spending all of our time together anymore. I've had such a great time with you! Mommy loves you so, so much. And just because Mommy is leaving to work, doesn't mean she doesn't love you. God called us here to Palmtreeville for a reason. We're here for a purpose. And Mommy needs to live out that purpose and use the talents, skills, and opportunities God has given her to do the work that God set forth for her. This means a lot less time with you -- and that's going to be really hard for Mommy. But God wants us to carry our cross and follow Him. And for me, less time with you is a cross to bear. I just want you to know why I'm doing it, though. I hope you grow up to understand -- and that you'll never question how much Mommy loves you. May God protect you when Mommy cannot. And may God provide for you in Mommy's absence much more than Mommy could have provided by clinging to you.
I'm not saying it won't be hard. But I am saying that I believe it will be worth it.
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