Mind you, the birthday itself wasn't completely awesome: it was my toughest day of the workweek, which started with working while at the gym at 6:45, and ended with me skipping church community group (sadly I confess) to clock in extra time at work late into the evening. And there were a couple moments in the day when I thought the stress would make me break down and cry. So...those parts weren't really awesome.
Oh, but everything else was:
Sunshine and a blue sky on my way to the train in the morning, a welcome change from the rainy and gloomy days that had preceded it.
A surprise phone call from my dad, being his usual goofy self.
Flowers, one of my favorite cakes (double-layer red velvet with cheesecake in the middle - yes, you read that right, and YES, it is spectacular), and a sweet card filled with loving musings from Mr. Squire ("I love reflecting, praying, and just being with you.").
More flowers, a bright smile, and an assortment of uber-delicious cookies from no fewer than three top bakeries in the City from my sweet coworker, with whom I've built the beginnings of a strong friendship over the last four months since we last started together.
Text messages and emails from friends across the country and across the world.
About a hundred Facebook wall posts (that birthday function really greases the wheels of long-distance friendship) from childhood friends, high-school friends, college friends, law school friends, church friends, ... people from all different phases of my life. Love coming from so many different directions is powerful.
Then, in the midst of my uber-stressful evening at work, a surprise Facetime call from Big Brother and Big Sister and their daughter, my adorable niece. Every time I see her on Facetime, she looks different and has a newly expanded vocabulary. Today, she actually was able to wish me a happy birthday! I was so delighted. And when Big Brother and Big Sister asked her how old Abi (that's me) was, she confidently declared, "Two." Hilarious, and a turnaround point for the evening.
And perhaps dearest to my heart, in a way, two emails with affirming words: one from my mother, speaking of my compassion for others, and one from my small group leader, speaking of my wisdom. I believe that if I could only ask for two virtues, compassion and wisdom are the two I would choose, and it was powerful and humbling to receive such encouraging words from women I love. In a way, I felt God affirming that He is completing His work in me; I am a work in progress, unfinished and with so much left to go, but I am in progress - I am going somewhere by His grace. Praise God.
* * *
I'm not sure why so many people approach 30 with a doomsday mentality. I'm really excited to enter my 30s, and I look forward to them with great anticipation.
My 20s were filled with so much uncertainty: what grades will I pull in college? What exactly are my hobbies? Who are my real friends? Where should I live? Will I really get to become a lawyer? What do I do now that I'm a lawyer? Will I get married? Who will I marry? Who is my community? Where does God want me to serve? What does He want me to be?
But as the years passed, more and more of those uncertainties were resolved as God poured down one blessing after another:
My parents' long-tumultuous relationship finally (miraculously) harmonized. My relationship with Big Brother - and later Big Sister - slowly underwent renovation and restoration.
I graduated well from college, and graduated from law school. During law school, I made life-changing friendships in the Christian Fellowship and grew in the love and light of my first real tight-knit Christian community.
Discovered my hobbies: reading fascinating non-fiction. Baking. Walking. Photography. Puppets and soft toys. Eating hot carbs. (just kidding...well, kind only kind of kidding).
I spent several years doing interesting work in BigLaw. Clerked. Found a wonderful litigation boutique to call home.
Moved from apartment to apartment to apartment, and each one had bigger windows and more trees than the previous one (and therefore, life got better).
Met Mr. Squire. Need I say more? Life is awesome when you're married to your best friend.
Got to know Jesus better... I went through deep, deep valleys - particularly at age 24 and again last year - but God always reached down. I was always in His grasp. And He always eventually lifted me up. I also learned what my spiritual gifts are, and felt God begin to use them in me to bless and serve others.
Settled into a wonderful church community in the City - a group of brothers and sisters who truly form a body and demonstrate genuine love for one another and for Christ. For the first two years, I constantly toyed with leaving the community, and now the thought of leaving them (which I'm sure will be inevitable within the next couple years) is heartbreaking.
... so many blessings between 20 and 30. How can I not be excited about what more lies ahead? Life for me has been an uphill battle: constant work, and in a way, a constant struggle... but everything gets and looks better and better as time - and the climb - goes on.
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