When We Are Weak, He is Strong

I don't really have time to tap out anything eloquent--or even long--because I have been billing almost 70 hours a week.  But I will say the following:  being in a position of weakness, discontent, and despair stinks.  It really does.  It is exhausting and life-sucking and leaves one empty and slumped.

But it can be a blessing.  

I can testify to it, because these days, I lack strength, I'm emotionally fragile, and I feel like I'm floundering.  The relief in this state, as not-fun as it is, though, is that I am in a position of utter humility and dependence on God for strength to make it through the day.  I constantly feel the need to cry out to Him, to enshroud my moments in prayer, to cling to Him because...I truly feel that hope in Him is all I have.  I thirst after Him, and reach out my trembling hand to touch His cloak and find shelter in it.  My eyes may wander, but more than usual, they remain fixed on Him for longer periods of time because for once I really sense that there is no one who can help me but God.  No one who can rescue me, no one who even sees the trouble I am going through, but Him.  

Herein lies the strength.  These days, I have found that truly, when we are weak, He is strong.  When our eyes are trained on God, when our hands are perpetually reaching out to Him in desperation, when we find refuge in Him and Him alone--having been abandoned by other sources of comfort--we are in a position to see His gaze of compassion.  We are in a place of attention to feel His touch, to sense His presence, to hear His voice at least a little better.  In other words, we are in the place of humility that God calls us to to begin with, in a place uncrowded by other affections, unpolluted by distractions and temptations, unfooled by illusions and mirages that surround us, because we know that they fail.

I do hope to emerge from this total stressball state soon.  But if and when that happens, may God keep my knees to the ground and my heart close to Him.