Learning to Walk Humbly: 1

Every day I whine, at some point, to someone:  "I just need a new job."  "I need to get out."  "I can't do this anymore."  "I'm just tired." 

And all those things are true.  But somewhere along the way (probably pretty early on), I lost perspective.  Day in and day out, I think -- woe is me, I don't get enough time at home with my girl.  But somewhere in there, I forget that I'm blessed to have choices (to work or not to work, to quit or not quit, to apply to this job but not that job, etc.).  And I'm blessed to be in this dilemma because I have a wonderful baby girl and a fantastic husband and loving community.  My life has already turned out better than I could have dreamed. 

And yet I whine.

So it occurred to me this last weekend that day in and day out, I beg God to show me what He wants me to be doing with my life/career.  And day in and day out, I feel like I don't get much of an answer.  But maybe I already have been given the answer.  Maybe the answer is -- He wants me to act justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.

That last part especially is convicting.  Because in my daily whining and pouting, I'm not walking humbly at all.  I'm complaining and being ungrateful.

I'm not trying to deny that this road is hard, because this last stretch has been real hard.  But I want to at least orient my heart to be more humble before God.  No matter what He calls me to next, I will do it better if I am humble in spirit.  And even if there is no "next" -- obedience alone calls for humility that has been grossly lacking in my life.

So I'm going to try to close each day with a little blogpost (not nearly this long) with some observations and words of gratitude.  Some thank yous to God for giving me my daily bread.  Some gratitude to close out each day.

Today I am thankful for:

-snuggle time with my girl in the morning before going to work.  She's usually sleeping when I leave, but today she was super-awake...and super-smiley, which was extra icing on the cake.  

-a decent day at work. Got good work done, and it wasn't overwhelming.

-a surprise call from an older sister in HK.  Hadn't spoken to her in ages.  Her love is comforting.

-time with my girl and Daddy in the evening before bed.

-energy and time for the day.

-decent commutes both ways (morning was particularly good - 35 mins)

-watermelon. Yum. Yay for cheap watermelon!